I HATE vomit. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate to do it, and I definetly try to never have to deal with it afterwords. I spent most of my pregnancy, when I was not at work, laying on my back breathing real slow and drinking ice cold water – so that I could stave off the vommitting. And I was successful, I only vomitted like three times, the entie time I was pregnant, and all were from my prenatal vitamins. (which a switch to gummis was a game changer!)
This morning at 2 am my one year old vommitted all over her crib. I, thankfully, missed the actual event, and she seemed fine afterwards, but all those vomit soaked sheets almost did me in. I always heard that you don’t notice gross stuff when it is for your own childern. NOT TRUE!!! It was GROSS!!! I noticed. It smelled. I am still trying to figure out how to come back and clean the carpet. I just put every sheet pillow and piece of clothing that was anywhere close to the crib into the washing machine, and turned it on super duper clean mode.
However, after I put her sheets in the washing machine (gagging the whole time) I came back in and saw her sitting there on the floor, looking sad and tired, and I realized, she couldn’t help it, and she couldn’t clean it up herself, and this was the first time she has ever vomited, she was probably scared. I went over and picked her up, and turned my head away to avoid the vomit smell in her hair, and I hugged her and kissed her until she laughed and then we put new pajamas on, and she helped me put new sheets on, and she went back to sleep.
There will probably be many, many more nights of sheet washing from vomit in my future. As for this first, all I can say is, I survived.
self drafted shirt
After I had Gema I started sewing again. I learned to sew in 4-H and sewed several things in middle school and high school. I was very impatient in high school and never did a very good job with the cutting and hemming and once I just taped my hem up and I wore it that way!! My mom was always mortified every time I left the house in something I made, because she was very afraid that people would think she made it. However, I was always pretty proud. It is crazy how creating something yourself, gives you the pride of ownership and it gives you a little extra boost of confidence when you wear it.
You know how when people go do those tipsy painting events (or whatever they are called in your town) -where you sit in a room and someone shows you the steps to painting something while you hang out with your friends and drink wine- and every time the class is over, everyone loves the painting THEY made? That has always baffled me, because sometimes people post pictures on facebook and I am like, that looks terrible – but they are always so proud of their painting. I think it is the process. The process of overcoming your fears, or your perceived weaknesses and creating something with your own hand. That is the same idea with sewing. A goal I have for this year is to make something new for myself to wear every month. I love wearing things I made, I feel like I stand a little taller when I wear it. I feel like it makes me look a little better too. Now, I am not a perfect seamstress and there are definitely flaws in every single thing i have ever made, but I still feel like it is awesome, because I MADE IT.
I have been making a lot of Gema’s clothing too, and I love it when her daycare teacher tells me that they really like her shirt and they notice that it does not have a tag, and did I make that? That makes me feel super great. Now, I know that those same teachers are probably thinking, you could get a shirt just like that from target for $8 why on earth would you go to all that trouble? That is a fair point. However again, it is the process of making the shirt, or the dress, that makes it worth it. The fact that I put in the time to connect with my daughter in that way. There is definitely something magic to the artistic process.
I have been working on a new venture for several months now, and I keep putting off actually launching it, partly because of fear of failure. However, I have everything lined up and am ready to go. So, my new handmade doll line is going to go live on Monday! It it terrifying to put my creations out there into the cyber world. I have no idea if anyone will like them, or if anyone will want to buy one. That fear of the unknown and fear of criticism keeps me from doing lots of things. However, no more!
I have recently gotten back into sewing. I have also recently found the wondrous world of heirloom quality handmade dolls. There are so many creative people out there! I love it. Gema has a pretty large collection of handmade dolls, all of which she could care less about, they really do not seem to entice her at all, but I keep hoping she will grow into them. Anyway, I started working on my own pattern and playing around with creating my own dolls. I have two different patterns, one with hair and one with fabric hair that is safer for smaller children. I am launching my site – www.paramiprincesa.com with the fabric hair dolls first and then I am going to add the second line hopefully in the next month.
I am planning to make a small batch each week, probably alternating the two patterns and listing them for sale on the website on Monday nights. Each doll is thoughtfully created and dressed by hand. With lots of love and care going into each and every one.
I know that there is a wide variety of handmade dolls being made out there, and there are tons that are way more creative and beautiful than mine, but I hope that my dolls can find homes that will love them and appreciate the care and time that went into making each one. Even if I never sell one, the effort that has gone into the process has helped me to find a creative outlet and I have learned how to take joy in the small details. That is something that I have struggled with for a long time.
Two nights ago Gema was crazy! She just got home and melted down. She cried and cried, she wouldn’t eat, and she keep throwing her paci down and then crying and reaching for it. So, finally at 5:30 I gave up and took her to bed. Which was only like 30 minutes early for bed. But still, as I get off work at 3:30 – 5:30 bed time does not give me and my girl much time together. However, she went right to sleep and she slept until I woke her up at 6:30 the next morning. When she woke up she was all smiles and sunshine. Then last night she ate everything on her plate, she played with all of her toys, and especially delightful – she asked for a bath. (she is her mother’s child, and she usually is resistant to this idea.) At 6:30 after I had put her to sleep, I looked around at all the things that i needed to do, and I just felt tired.. and sore… and cranky…and like I wanted to throw my paci on the floor over and over. And I was like, you know what? I am going to see what twelve hours of sleep does for me. So, I went to bed. This morning I felt like I was walking on sunshine.
I think that sometimes, we get all wrapped up in the grind and all that we need to accomplish, and all that…adulting, and sometimes we just need to be still. We just need to realize that there is a time when we need sleep, and the time for working will wait. So, no guilt. I slept for eleven and half hours and it was wonderful! Next time you look around and just want to throw something, just stop, and read a book, take a bath, or be like me and just go to bed instead. Take time to rejuvenate so that you can face the rest of the week with a better outlook and with energy.